/u/FigureFourWoo's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

My girlfriend told me about the monster that used to live in her closet when she was a little girl.

3952 upvotes

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At 55, I said “You have a deal, to The Devil when he offered me a long life and good health in exchange for my firstborn child,” because my son Johnny was a disgrace.

3452 upvotes

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My husband said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him.

2306 upvotes

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Insulin is not the same as heroin!

1110 upvotes

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"You broke a family heirloom, so I am going to break something you care about," my father said angrily.

219 upvotes

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“Did you grill Sarah until she told you where she got those cigarettes?”

207 upvotes

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"The baby is in the crib," my wife said as I arrived home from work.

142 upvotes

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Today, my best friend found out how to finally get over his ex-girlfriend.

87 upvotes

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My girlfriend left a note saying that she was leaving me, and moving away to start a new life.

77 upvotes

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Life is like a box of chocolates...

46 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My girlfriend told me about the monster that used to live in her closet when she was a little girl.	3952
At 55, I said “You have a deal, to The Devil when he offered me a long life and good health in exchange for my firstborn child,” because my son Johnny was a disgrace.	3452
My husband said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him.	2306
Insulin is not the same as heroin!	1110
"You broke a family heirloom, so I am going to break something you care about," my father said angrily.	219
“Did you grill Sarah until she told you where she got those cigarettes?”	207
"The baby is in the crib," my wife said as I arrived home from work.	142
Today, my best friend found out how to finally get over his ex-girlfriend.	87
My girlfriend left a note saying that she was leaving me, and moving away to start a new life.	77
Life is like a box of chocolates...	46