/u/Fruit-Dealer's posts
[WP]You die. Instead of meeting God and the Devil as you expected, you meet two beings that introduce themselves as 'The Surgeon' and 'The Butcher'.
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[WP] 'You will always be in my heart'. 'That would be so sweet to hear coming from you if you didn't mean that literally'.
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[WP] 'Dear unfortunate reader of this letter: if you have found this on the top deck, there still may be hope for you; scuttle this ship immediately and get as far away as you can. If you have opened the hatch to the stairwell, may God have mercy on your soul.
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[WP] Not all reapers take lives. You are a reaper assigned to steer people away from suicide/self harm so that they may live out their ordained lifespan.
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[WP]Tired of being bullied, you go sign up for a gym membership. You are shocked to find out that the exercise equipment can talk to you, giving you advice on form, etc.
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[WP]A notorious mass murderer has broken out of a prison in your neighborhood. You find the murderer has broken into your house and prepare to shoot him with your gun. The murderer yells, 'Wait, stop! I'm here to save you!"
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[WP] 'Okay okay! I admit it, the conspiracy nuts were right about the chemtrails, but we would have all been long dead if we didn't do it. You have got to believe me!'
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