/u/GerardDG's posts
[WP]You start your first day as a police officer in a town that is very welcoming and friendly. Also, most of the locals are part of a blood cult. Things are surprisingly normal. They even hold soccer matches versus the death cult in the next town over.
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[WP] You are the greatest Orc warlord of all time. You have won countless battles and razed entire countries to the ground. What nobody can ever know, is that you actually are two goblins in a trenchcoat stacked on top of eachother.
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[WP]As part of a money laundering scheme, you end up attending your own funeral. You can't ruin your disguise, but you have to speak up, these eulogies are just so terrible.
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[WP]The good news is, at least the zombie virus doesn't affect humans. The bad news is that it affects everything else.
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[WP]After defeating the dragon, you ascend the tower and find the captured princess. She begins to thank you, but you interrupt her: "You've got the wrong idea. I'm not here for you."
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[WP]As you travel aboard your starship through a frontier, pirate infested region of space, you receive occasional distress signals. The captain tries to laugh it off, but he looks terrified. "Yeah uhh, we ignore those. Just... ignore them."
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[WP]Your best friend calls up you in the dead of night, asking you to meet them deep in the forest. You expect they'll ask you to help bury a body. But when you get there, what you find defies all expectations.
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[WP] The people revere you for your humor and wit as court jester. What they don't know is that you are just a fraud, an imposter. Every joke you make is thought up by the true court jester in disguise: none other than the king himself.
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[WP] You've survived the apocalypse. Your people have been decimated repeatedly. Entire communities were eradicated. The enemy still slaughters you regularly, but there is hope. You are a whale.
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