/u/GiantJawa's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

I cursed out the cultists who knocked on the door screaming about trying to "save" me so I don't "burn."

204 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

my dream job is to be the boss in a crematorium.

87 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

I woke up super early so I pissed on the side of the bowl to make less noise. My roommate was mad cause he just wanted to eat his frosted flakes in peace.

42 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

What did the kid without arms get on Christmas?

12 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

No more handouts.

7 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

The house painter's new assistant comes back to the truck and the painter says "you finished painting the porch already?" Assistant says "yes and it's pronounced Porsche."

5 upvotes

Mark as read: Add to a list

Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I cursed out the cultists who knocked on the door screaming about trying to "save" me so I don't "burn."	204
my dream job is to be the boss in a crematorium.	87
I woke up super early so I pissed on the side of the bowl to make less noise. My roommate was mad cause he just wanted to eat his frosted flakes in peace.	42
What did the kid without arms get on Christmas?	12
No more handouts.	7
The house painter's new assistant comes back to the truck and the painter says "you finished painting the porch already?" Assistant says "yes and it's pronounced Porsche."	5