/u/GoldfishTM's posts
[WP] It is the year 2100, global warming has caused a drought that has lasted years. As a last ditch effort, scientists and world leaders urged everyone to clean their cars at the exact same time. For as we all know, it always rains just after you cleaned your car..
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[WP]You are a travelling sales staff from Hell, selling people their desires and fantasies in exchange for their soul. But people are recently not biting into the "worldly desires" spiel as of late, so you decided to change your selling strategy.
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[WP]In an alternate universe, wars were fought with pillows. All is right with the world until LikiWeaks uploaded a video of soldiers hitting innocent civilians with mattresses. The Council of Human Rights discusses the differences between a mattress and a pillow.
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[WP] As a fail safe, god sent jesuses of different nationalities all around the world. With the jewish jesus succeeding, god has then sent angels to purge the remaining jesuses. You were able to escape and went into hiding up to present time, performing discreet miracles along the way.
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[WP]"Our goal was never to win" the captain said. "It was to make sure they don't." finished the helmsman
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[WP] Hello, this is Skeleton Key Criminal Consultancy. Yes ma'am, this is a real firm. No ma'am, stealing the Pope Mobile would take more than 48 hours to do so. The Eiffel Tower? Hmm, drop by the office and we'll see what we can do.
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[WP]You're the supplier of the black market's rarest items and substances, whether it is biblical, mytholigical, fantasy, alien, sci-fi, etc. You were doing your routine deliveries over at NASA when they asked you to supply them something you're pretty sure doesn't exist, but they don't believe you.
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[WP]You're a rookie time traveller on your first case to restore history to its "normal" timeline. Your grizzled veteran partner is a no nonsense kinda guy that gets the job done. Your mission: Make sure some dude from Austria never went to art school.
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[WP]"Trust me, I work well under pressure." "Is this why I'm pointing a gun to your head right now?" "Yes." "And the cultists summoning a demon at the lobby?" "Yes." "And the ticking time bomb at the children oncology wing?" "The what?"
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