/u/Gortriss's posts in /r/HPfanfiction

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"Ron, Hermione, I just found out... My scar is the last Horcrux... I need to let Voldemort kill me" "What are you going on about mate? You can just have the Gringott's Horcrux removal surgery. I reckon Bill could even get us a discount."

241 upvotes

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"But Dad, what if I'm sorted into Slytherin?" "Bellatrix Dolores Potter, you're my daughter, and you were named after two of the most sadistic and evil people I knew, and both of them were in Slytherin"

220 upvotes

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Muggleborn student assumes elves in the wizarding world are like fantasy book elves. “You said elves cooked this food? Yeah right, I bet those pretentious pricks never worked a day in their lives”

173 upvotes

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"Hagrid, why did you have my vault key?" "Well Harry, I'm Hogwarts's Keeper o' Keys. It's my job to hold onto everyones keys, o' course!"

163 upvotes

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“Hey Professor McGonagall, it’s been a few years, how have you been? Still headmistress? Anyways this is my son James Sirius Potter-Weasley, he’ll be starting hogwarts next year!”

1 upvotes

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What if the first and second Triwizard tasks swapped, and Harry had to rescue Ron while they were still having a fight.

1 upvotes

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“Doesn’t it bother you? That all anyone talks about when they talk about you are the seven husbands of Mrs. Zabini?” “No, because they were just husbands. I am Mrs. Zabini”

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
"Ron, Hermione, I just found out... My scar is the last Horcrux... I need to let Voldemort kill me" "What are you going on about mate? You can just have the Gringott's Horcrux removal surgery. I reckon Bill could even get us a discount."	241
"But Dad, what if I'm sorted into Slytherin?" "Bellatrix Dolores Potter, you're my daughter, and you were named after two of the most sadistic and evil people I knew, and both of them were in Slytherin"	220
Muggleborn student assumes elves in the wizarding world are like fantasy book elves. “You said elves cooked this food? Yeah right, I bet those pretentious pricks never worked a day in their lives”	173
"Hagrid, why did you have my vault key?" "Well Harry, I'm Hogwarts's Keeper o' Keys. It's my job to hold onto everyones keys, o' course!"	163
“Hey Professor McGonagall, it’s been a few years, how have you been? Still headmistress? Anyways this is my son James Sirius Potter-Weasley, he’ll be starting hogwarts next year!”	1
What if the first and second Triwizard tasks swapped, and Harry had to rescue Ron while they were still having a fight.	1
“Doesn’t it bother you? That all anyone talks about when they talk about you are the seven husbands of Mrs. Zabini?” “No, because they were just husbands. I am Mrs. Zabini”	1