/u/Granite-M's posts
[WP] You stumble upon a magic lamp. To avoid the genie's caprice, you wish for the most mundane and harmless thing imaginable. Ten years later, you are implausibly rich and successful, and nervously waiting for the other shoe to drop.
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[WP] In the distant future, science has become so advanced that it is indistinguishable from magic. You, a novice programmer, are having a hell of a time trying to debug your genie.
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[WP] You swear that your new kitten is as cute as the dickens. With a flash of light and a sulphur, you realize that you are in the presence of His Infernal Majesty, The Dickens Himself.
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[WP] The war against the space monsters has been going poorly, but tonight your battalion learned that, just like Earth-based monsters, space monsters are incapable of attacking someone hiding underneath a blanket.
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[WP] "Help me, noble sir!" cries the squirrel. "I was cursed by a sorceress to this puny form, and I need your help to be saved!" You narrow your eyes in suspicion. You've been hoodwinked by such scams before.
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[WP] Mother always said "fake it 'til you make it," and it's worked well for you so far, but you're pretty sure that the day is coming when you'll have to admit to the king that you are not in fact a powerful wizard.
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[WP] After two hundred years of war, both the human and alien empires are eager to sign a peace. However, the aliens' culture considers puns to be the noblest form of rhetoric. This has made negotiations... difficult.
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[WP] "Ms. Griffith, may I go to the bathroom?" you ask. "Yes," replies the teacher, "Just take the hall pass." You collect the wooden plank hall pass, strap on your helm and cuirass, heft your softly glowing war hammer over your shoulder, double check your silver rosary, and head out into the hall.
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[WP] As you are about to formulate your theory of time travel, a time machine appears and you jump out, yelling NOT to invent time travel. Simultaneously, another time machine appears, and another you, yelling that you MUST invent time travel. The three of you argue.
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