/u/GuyAwks's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Ever had a girl ditch a first date with you early, citing an “emergency” with a family member in hospital?

33 upvotes

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As a factory supervisor, I always ensure my workers are wearing hi-vis vests while on the job.

32 upvotes

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If you were ever stabbed with a lead pencil as a child, you’ll know that the mark never goes away.

31 upvotes

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The carnival is pleased to announce that our popular kissing booth will be returning!

31 upvotes

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With only seconds to type an SOS before my kidnapper finds me, I open the first YouTube video I see.

31 upvotes

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When adopting a newborn child, you can have either an open or closed adoption.

30 upvotes

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“We’ll be fine—touch wood” I told my hiking partner, tapping on a tree trunk for luck.

29 upvotes

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Disappointed in my misbehaving children, I shut their star projector off as punishment.

29 upvotes

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A 100-year-old lady asked her local police station to give her a novelty arrest to tick off her bucket list.

27 upvotes

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As the plane rapidly depressurises, I remember to secure my own oxygen mask before my child’s.

27 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Ever had a girl ditch a first date with you early, citing an “emergency” with a family member in hospital?	33
As a factory supervisor, I always ensure my workers are wearing hi-vis vests while on the job.	32
If you were ever stabbed with a lead pencil as a child, you’ll know that the mark never goes away.	31
The carnival is pleased to announce that our popular kissing booth will be returning!	31
With only seconds to type an SOS before my kidnapper finds me, I open the first YouTube video I see.	31
When adopting a newborn child, you can have either an open or closed adoption.	30
“We’ll be fine—touch wood” I told my hiking partner, tapping on a tree trunk for luck.	29
Disappointed in my misbehaving children, I shut their star projector off as punishment.	29
A 100-year-old lady asked her local police station to give her a novelty arrest to tick off her bucket list.	27
As the plane rapidly depressurises, I remember to secure my own oxygen mask before my child’s.	27