/u/GuyAwks's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

My wife has developed a concerning habit of counting calories all day long.

26 upvotes

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Contrary to what my foodie friends had said, the fugu sushi did not taste "to die for".

25 upvotes

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I was intrigued when my wife left a bottle of "No Tears" shampoo for me in the shower.

24 upvotes

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I always dreamed of catching a rogue baseball in the stands at a sports game.

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"You'll catch more with honey than vinegar, you know" my wife tells me gently.

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As the mummy’s lethal curse transferred to me, I took comfort in knowing my body would be cremated.

23 upvotes

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I sighed in frustration at having just failed the Guinness World Record for "Highest monster truck jump".

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“Yo, can I live?” I groan at my best friend, rolling my eyes.

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“Just take the L” my colleague tells me bluntly.

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Wary of the Greek tales, us sailors ignored the beautiful sirens calling out to us from the rocks.

22 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My wife has developed a concerning habit of counting calories all day long.	26
Contrary to what my foodie friends had said, the fugu sushi did not taste "to die for".	25
I was intrigued when my wife left a bottle of "No Tears" shampoo for me in the shower.	24
I always dreamed of catching a rogue baseball in the stands at a sports game.	24
"You'll catch more with honey than vinegar, you know" my wife tells me gently.	24
As the mummy’s lethal curse transferred to me, I took comfort in knowing my body would be cremated.	23
I sighed in frustration at having just failed the Guinness World Record for "Highest monster truck jump".	23
“Yo, can I live?” I groan at my best friend, rolling my eyes.	23
“Just take the L” my colleague tells me bluntly.	23
Wary of the Greek tales, us sailors ignored the beautiful sirens calling out to us from the rocks.	22