/u/GuyAwks's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

I just saw a super helpful ad for a necklace that people can use to send a distress signal when abducted.

5593 upvotes

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Eventually, greedy corporations started repossessing all unauthorised reproductions of their copyrighted images.

5197 upvotes

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My crafty son used to tell me he could untie any knot, no matter how complex or tight.

5167 upvotes

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Give a man a fish, and he won't notice you dumping a dead body in the lake.

4956 upvotes

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Can you really end up on an FBI watchlist for clicking a link confessing to murder?

3641 upvotes

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Our dairy farm still prints photos of missing children on all our milk cartons.

3501 upvotes

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Muffled and in darkness, she felt cold metal rain down upon her from metres above.

3272 upvotes

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My brown-eyed girlfriend has always wanted blue eyes, but hates colour contacts.

3120 upvotes

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Sometimes I crack up laughing remembering the funny fall my friend had years ago.

2743 upvotes

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I could never easily get the backs off of my favourite pair of diamond earrings.

2567 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I just saw a super helpful ad for a necklace that people can use to send a distress signal when abducted.	5593
Eventually, greedy corporations started repossessing all unauthorised reproductions of their copyrighted images.	5197
My crafty son used to tell me he could untie any knot, no matter how complex or tight.	5167
Give a man a fish, and he won't notice you dumping a dead body in the lake.	4956
Can you really end up on an FBI watchlist for clicking a link confessing to murder?	3641
Our dairy farm still prints photos of missing children on all our milk cartons.	3501
Muffled and in darkness, she felt cold metal rain down upon her from metres above.	3272
My brown-eyed girlfriend has always wanted blue eyes, but hates colour contacts.	3120
Sometimes I crack up laughing remembering the funny fall my friend had years ago.	2743
I could never easily get the backs off of my favourite pair of diamond earrings.	2567