/u/GuyAwks's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Crying out in disappointment, I realise that I’ve broken yet another one of my nails.

2289 upvotes

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Every time the arresting officers question me about the murder I didn’t commit, I nod and shout “Yes!”.

2125 upvotes

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It’s been nearly 5 years since I went vegan.

2005 upvotes

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Squirting a bottle of water onto the supermarket floor, I ready myself to slip backwards.

1913 upvotes

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After months of Accutane, my face is clearer than I ever dreamed it could be.

1693 upvotes

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"If you kids keep pulling faces, they'll get stuck that way" lectured our old neighbour sternly.

1382 upvotes

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"Now cut the red wire to defuse the bomb, sir" calmly instructs the defusing expert to me over the phone.

1370 upvotes

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I’ve promised my crush that if he ever needs a kidney transplant, I’ll donate one of mine to him.

1134 upvotes

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Guests at the gender reveal party stirred, wondering how the couple would announce the news.

1029 upvotes

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A nearby pedestrian immediately rushes to help me up after I trip on the sidewalk.

729 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Crying out in disappointment, I realise that I’ve broken yet another one of my nails.	2289
Every time the arresting officers question me about the murder I didn’t commit, I nod and shout “Yes!”.	2125
It’s been nearly 5 years since I went vegan.	2005
Squirting a bottle of water onto the supermarket floor, I ready myself to slip backwards.	1913
After months of Accutane, my face is clearer than I ever dreamed it could be.	1693
"If you kids keep pulling faces, they'll get stuck that way" lectured our old neighbour sternly.	1382
"Now cut the red wire to defuse the bomb, sir" calmly instructs the defusing expert to me over the phone.	1370
I’ve promised my crush that if he ever needs a kidney transplant, I’ll donate one of mine to him.	1134
Guests at the gender reveal party stirred, wondering how the couple would announce the news.	1029
A nearby pedestrian immediately rushes to help me up after I trip on the sidewalk.	729