/u/GymnoJake's posts
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[WP] "Son, i need to tell you something. I am a god." "Dad, I'm 20 and studying mythology. You don't think i haven't figured that out?"
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[WP] In an effort to identify different species, you create a device that can scan an animal and tell you its DNA. You decide to test it on your cat. Delighted it even works, you look at the screen. "0% Cat"
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I didn't think there was anything worse than being held captive for 3 years, constantly beaten and used.
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[WP] After decades of cryo-sleep, your ship and crew have finally reached the edge of the universe. When you open the airlock, you find a platform leading to a door with a sign reading "Warning! You are about to leave universe #68437"
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[WP] You pull yourself through the portal and say in your deepest, most menacing voice, "Who dares to summon me, Kalator, Demon of the Undead!?" Your voice changes back to normal as you look around and see a familiar sight. "Oh hey Jim, poker night?"
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[WP] You and your partner check your rifles, pocket your knives and stow your various grenades in your vests as you look at the house you're about to break into. After 15 years, you're finally going to get that punk, Kevin McCallister.
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[WP] You're fighting your archnemesis. As usual. Neither of you gain any advantage. As usual. He does his monologue. As usual. You really can't be bothered anymore.
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