/u/IBuiltABanana's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

After her lobotomy my wife was quieter, but happy.

4855 upvotes

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I purr excitedly as my owner places me into a nice cozy bag.

503 upvotes

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As we walked along the sea front, hand in hand, I looked at her and said "You know, before I came on this date I was thinking of making you my next victim."

271 upvotes

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"Just a little off the top," He said as he took a seat in the barbers chair.

42 upvotes

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I accidentally fell from the attic and the electric cord is wrapped around my neck, holding me 3 feet off the ground.

7 upvotes

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I have watched you all since the dawn of time, as your God.

5 upvotes

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Yesterday my wife was extremely bitter, and this morning she was overly sweet.

5 upvotes

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Yesterday my wife was bitter, and today she was overly sweet.

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
After her lobotomy my wife was quieter, but happy.	4855
I purr excitedly as my owner places me into a nice cozy bag.	503
As we walked along the sea front, hand in hand, I looked at her and said "You know, before I came on this date I was thinking of making you my next victim."	271
"Just a little off the top," He said as he took a seat in the barbers chair.	42
I accidentally fell from the attic and the electric cord is wrapped around my neck, holding me 3 feet off the ground.	7
I have watched you all since the dawn of time, as your God.	5
Yesterday my wife was extremely bitter, and this morning she was overly sweet.	5
Yesterday my wife was bitter, and today she was overly sweet.	1