/u/IOughtToBeThrownAway's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

The first time I went to a nude beach, I got my dick sucked by three thirsty females. NSFW

355 upvotes

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The other day I was having a stroke and I smelled toast. NSFW

253 upvotes

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“Are you pulling my leg?”

235 upvotes

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Since I’m a mechanic I spend lots of time at work just jacking it into the air.

234 upvotes

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My ass just made a huge, disgusting mess.

189 upvotes

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Roses are red, violets are blue...

188 upvotes

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The squirrels we’re all chittering and screaming at your mom....

166 upvotes

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They wanted to boot me from the lobby after I spent the last 30 minutes spawn killing.

132 upvotes

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That piece-of-shit asshole has been donating organs anonymously over the past few weeks, and I know for a fact I received his kidney.

31 upvotes

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He’d been expecting it all day and he’d known there wasn’t a single thing he could do to stop it....

17 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The first time I went to a nude beach, I got my dick sucked by three thirsty females. NSFW	355
The other day I was having a stroke and I smelled toast. NSFW	253
“Are you pulling my leg?”	235
Since I’m a mechanic I spend lots of time at work just jacking it into the air.	234
My ass just made a huge, disgusting mess.	189
Roses are red, violets are blue...	188
The squirrels we’re all chittering and screaming at your mom....	166
They wanted to boot me from the lobby after I spent the last 30 minutes spawn killing.	132
That piece-of-shit asshole has been donating organs anonymously over the past few weeks, and I know for a fact I received his kidney.	31
He’d been expecting it all day and he’d known there wasn’t a single thing he could do to stop it....	17