/u/IOughtToBeThrownAway's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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They didn’t wait for him to be dead....

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[MAR21] He frowned at the clear blue sky and said, “here comes the spring thaw.”

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I’m really not much of a eulogizer.

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The doctors say they’ve never seen a tumor like mine before.

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My children were running around screaming and I told them “quiet down, you kids are loud enough to wake the dead!”

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“I hope this hasn’t been done before....”

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He simply loved squeezing soft things.

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The best way to “hide” a body is to make sure it will be found by the right people, that’s why I hid their dog in their leaf pile.

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He was hiking some in the woods and when nature called he realized he hadn’t brought toilet paper.

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“Jonny Cage, Sub Zero, round one, FIGHT!”

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
They didn’t wait for him to be dead....	33
[MAR21] He frowned at the clear blue sky and said, “here comes the spring thaw.”	32
I’m really not much of a eulogizer.	32
The doctors say they’ve never seen a tumor like mine before.	32
My children were running around screaming and I told them “quiet down, you kids are loud enough to wake the dead!”	32
“I hope this hasn’t been done before....”	32
He simply loved squeezing soft things.	32
The best way to “hide” a body is to make sure it will be found by the right people, that’s why I hid their dog in their leaf pile.	32
He was hiking some in the woods and when nature called he realized he hadn’t brought toilet paper.	32
“Jonny Cage, Sub Zero, round one, FIGHT!”	31