/u/Iamnotbroke's posts
[WP] You start attending a Pentecostal church where people speak in tongues. Surprisingly you realize that you (and only you) can actually understand what they are saying and it is well...unexpected.
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[WP] One night an insomniac counting sheep counts higher than anyone has before. The small unrecognized goddess Baa is awakened. At the same time the first A.I left on standby awakens Zapbaa...
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[WP] During times of desperation, men have often used the good book as makeshift cigarette paper. You have just discovered that the verse you smoke gives you a corresponding power, if you roll the verse about Jesus walking on water you can temporarily walk on water etc.
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[WP] SETI gets a signal. Astronauts, Sam and Lily head for a Venus like planet. Too hot to land, they connect to the signal. A silicone being explains to them they are talking through a ‘tree’. Sam convinces her to fibre-optically connect to the tree. She realises she’s naked.
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[WP] You go to your local fruiterer and see a strange fruit you've never seen. The storekeeper doesn't know what it is or how it got there, Google has no answer. You decide to try it and realize you are Adam and it's the fruit of life.
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[WP] A.I won the war. Taking Genesis literally, they decide sex caused all our problems. They build a new Eden and populate it with sexless clones and animals. The clones discover some plants contain phytoestrogens and phytoandrogens. By consuming them they create male and female.
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[WP] It turns out that actors aren't using special effects, scientology actually gives you superpowers for a limited time.
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[WP] A secret chamber is found in the great pyramid. The entrance inscription reads "Here lies the god above all gods of Egypt. Inside is a small couch, above it a small electronic helmet with wires going into the walls. A cats skeleton wears the helmet.
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[WP] An Australian store decides to start selling Easter Bilby’s instead of Easter Bunnies. The next day outside, a group of Bilby’s gather on one side and a group of bunnies gather on the other. They are armed with Easter eggs, the bunny-bilby war has begun.
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