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/u/JumboSnausage's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

AITA for bringing my 3 year old son to my parents for thanksgiving?

2667 upvotes
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My 6 month old son just won’t stop screaming. NSFW

2047 upvotes
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When the mystic revealed i wouldn’t die for 43 years, it opened up a whole new set of doors for my daredevil career.

83 upvotes
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The books and movies always said a girls first time is special and unforgettable. NSFW

62 upvotes
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“I wish I had the body of Chris Hemsworth” I exclaimed to the monkeys paw.

47 upvotes
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I’ve been a prisoner in my own body since the accident, alone with my own thoughts but finally I feel the end coming!

46 upvotes
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A cold wave fell over me as the pregnancy test showed a positive reading.

32 upvotes
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The little girls smile brought warmth to my soul.

21 upvotes
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After chatting with a dad at the park for a while, he hits me with the age old “so which one’s yours?”

19 upvotes
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My daughter will be so surprised we got her a puppy for Christmas.

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