/u/Kalehfornyuh's posts
[WP] I’ve invented the Enhancement Beam! Shoot a car it becomes a Ferrari, shoot a cat it becomes a lion. Shoot a spider and - oh god fuck what have I done what is that thing?!?
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[EU] Dear Mr Trotter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been rejected from Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. We don’t know how you found out about us nor why memory charms don’t seem to work on you. Yours sincerely, Professor McGonagall.
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[WP] Instead of slaying the dragon the valiant prince brings him home to palace to be the kingdom’s minister of finance, on account of him being so familiar with the collecting and keeping of treasure.
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[WP] The psionics in your battalion are mocked for sitting in chairs meditating all day while the real soldiers do the fighting, until an un-repulsed enemy psychic attack shows them that psionic battles are every bit as real as anyone’s.
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[WP] You are worshipped as a God, not because of your divinity but because it’s 0 CE and you are the worlds only time traveler. Your godhood comes from your fabrication shop, degree in engineering, and the complete downloaded Wikipedia and Khan academy.
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[EU] The Dovakiin has died. All of the various daedric princes, gods, and primordial beings that he has aligned with lay claim to his soul, and no one is sure exactly which afterlife he should go to.
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[WP] You’ve sold your soul to the devil, performed sacraments so profane that they cannot be spoken of, and delved into the deepest darkness. All for a reason so touching that even Saint Peter and the archangels begin to take your side in your afterlife trial.
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[EU] Mr Calvert eagerly awaits his wife in heaven, having been married for 70 years in life. Sadly, it seems she has chosen to spend her afterlife with some hobo named Jack she met on a boat when she was a teenager.
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[WP] King Arthur returns in the time of Britain’s greatest need and he summons to his side all the knights of the realm. Instead of armor clad warriors a bunch of entertainers, artists, and politicians show up.
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