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/u/Kerosene_kerosensei's posts

They told me that DOOM was a fictional game

512 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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I laughed at how the news channel's typo spelled "CORVID-19 Emergency" on my TV screen as I put on my shoes to take out the trash.

366 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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I got my dick in the Guinness Book of World Records

264 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I saw the monster poke his arm out from under my bed

242 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I stood there motionless, not knowing what to do as the demon writhed and screamed on my bathroom floor.

195 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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Some people say that 1 out of 10 people who go skydiving don't make it to the ground.

140 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I ran out of gas on the way to my family's Christmas party.

97 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I walk into Gym class, excited to see if we'd be playing Dodgeball or Tennis that day.

65 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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This isn't a horror story of the monster that my daughter found underneath her bed.

58 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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My sleep paralysis demon reeled backwards after I punched it in the face hard enough to nearly take its jaw off, and it scurried away crying.

54 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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