/u/Lexicham's posts
[WP] "Our spicy meals are due to chemicals in the spices that make your tongue feel pain, it is not magical and has nothing to do with the temperature. We should put that on a sign, this is like the third time this week a dragon or fire-breathing customer ordered more than they could handle..."
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[WP] Turns out my superpower is making situations end anti-climactically. It’s inconvenient sometimes, but there have been moments where it’s really come in handy.
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[WP] The Swamp Witch cursed my flesh off and stitched my muscles and skin into the form of a zombie to do her dark bidding. But she bothered the Lich, who reanimated my bones to fight it off. I am left as only a ghost, but I am getting to witness a fight I didn't think I'd ever see.
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[WP] The elf walked into the store. They had been given a large sack of various coins and had been assured that they were acceptable currency in this world. But then the cashier said they would need a lot more than dimes and quarters to pay for that…
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[WP] When the Dark Lord fell to the Chosen One, me and my work buddies were suddenly out of a job. Now, when someone asks for my resume I tell them I “razed orphans” and hope they don’t ask for details. It’s not like this new job could be that hard, right?
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[WP] The girlfriend is cursed, but can pass the curse on to a willing person. Her boyfriend is ok with only one of them living a normal life at a time, but the idea of who will break up with the other first is always on the back of their mind.
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[WP] It slowly dawned on the Hero that the Dark Lord’s plan to acquire and share power had all the hallmarks of a Multilevel Marketing/Pyramid Scheme.
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[WP] As I'm the guy who (almost accidently) slayed the Evil One, turns out that makes me the new Evil One. I'm now the anthropomorphic personification of Selfishness and Evil Decisions and I now spend my days tempting others. For the past Evil Ones, it was their life. For me, its just a 9-5 job.
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[WP] The duel at high noon, that spell, that sword through the chest, all those moments I was impaled… I’ve lost count of the number of times that shirt with the magical hole in it saved me. I wonder where it leads.
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