TwoSentenceHorror

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“I’m not very familiar with Poe,” I lied, leading my friend deeper into the wine cellar.	9984
The only rule was no eating the apples. After seeing what Adam had done to poor Lilith, Eve would’ve eaten the whole tree to escape this “paradise.”	6584
[SEP22] “Thousands will die,” I protested. “Yes, and it will save us MILLIONS,” the head of the board responded.	4882
As the countdown approached zero, the astronaut couldn’t keep the fact that every single part of the craft was made by the lowest bidder out of her head.	4046
“I’m really not built for the outdoors,” I chuckled to my self, as I squinted under the glare of the setting sun. Just 2 days into my hike and I had already lost my sunglasses, gotten a weird red rash, and my neck was so sore I couldn’t even look down when I laced my boots.	3179
He must’ve had that tree pinning his leg for hours. So why is he screaming at me for lifting it off of him?	2263
I thought I had prepared for every possibility before attempting the free climb. How could I have expected to get testicular torsion while dangling 400ft off the ground.	2188
When I claimed that aliens had abducted me and put a chip in my head, the doctors thought my fall had caused brain damage.	729
[SEP22] When our planet died, the most surprising thing wasn’t that we had nothing to do with it, or even that an entire planet could be sterilized in mere minutes. The most shocking thing was that our fate had been sealed millions of years ago by the death of a star in an entirely other galaxy.	564
Carbon monoxide poisoning is supposed to be one of the most peaceful ways to go. So, why do they always try so hard to escape?	489

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