/u/MrNewt_'s posts
Every time that somebody mentions you in a conversation you hear a beep. One morning you wake up at 3AM to a steady stream of beeping.
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You and your family are minding your own business, when suddenly a man kidnaps you and forces you to shop at Target!
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[WP] You hire a hitman to kill a man named James Rodrick. Little does he know, you're professional assassin James Rodrick.
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Every time you go to the bathroom you find two oranges in the adjacent room. You have decided to rob a bank with your new found powers.
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[WP] Every time when somebody says "Dear God..." their following sentence is sent as a letter to God.
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