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/u/NedRyerson_Insurance's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Accident or not, I've never forgiven my daughter's killer.

5805 upvotes
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I squeeze my wife tight and inhale the perfect moment.

1412 upvotes
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Grampa, did you know there's a skeleton inside me?

131 upvotes
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Can you believe I was once so soft, I actually cried when the dog died?

62 upvotes
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"I'm sorry, Daddy, my imaginary friend made me do it."

53 upvotes
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"I'm sorry" the lawyer stated flatly, "but according to the terms of this loan agreement, if you default on payment the bank has the right to immediately seize anything you paid for with that money."

43 upvotes
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I love seeing dogs heads sticking out of car windows while I'm driving.

41 upvotes
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It annoys me that my kids are such tattletales.

31 upvotes
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Danny fron the other fourth-grade class finally wants to come over to play hide-and-seek.

26 upvotes
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Everyone talks about how scary clown are, but nobody knows what clowns are afraid of.

25 upvotes
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