/u/OfficerLollipop's posts
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[WP] An alien finds a human baby, raises it as its own, and realizes that their lifespan is longer than a human's.
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[WP] "Wait, aw fuck. Now that I have eternal youth, I'll have to change a lot of identities, abandon old friends, and never settle!" "You're new to this, aren't you?"
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[WP] An anonymous internet user is driving people to madness with their posts. After their IP is tracked, the mystery user is confirmed to be located at 47°9'S, 126°43'W.
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[WP] Out of the blue, a random stranger hands you a note reading, "Jesus loves you." You laugh and show your boyfriend, Jesus, the note.
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[WP] You are hired by the government to guard the cell of the most dangerous criminal. Unbeknownst to you, that Supermax cell contains a soft cuddly creature.
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