/u/Omgzjustin's posts
[WP] “Attention all Wal-Mart shoppers, welcome to Aisle Wars. The doors are locked. Use any item in your aisle to attack and defend from other aisles. Only one aisle will make it out alive.”
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[WP] Haiku man is a villain who speaks only in haikus. If he engages someone, they must return perfect haikus; anyone who speaks with the wrong amount of syllables is evaporated. He’s killed 2,341 poets, and you’re next.
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[WP] "Attention all Wal-Mart customers, welcome to Aisle Wars. Only one aisle may leave with their life. Good luck." You're in the chemical aisle.
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[WP] Your daughter is crying at 3 am, so you burst in her room. She is sitting on her bed, emotionless. “Daddy, I think there’s a monster under my bed”. With a sigh, you kneel and put your head under the bed, only to find your daughter, quivering. “Daddy, there’s something on my bed..”
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[WP] You are Sean Bean’s agent. He’s died in every film he’s ever been in, but no one knows that he’s equally unlucky in real life. The only difference is you, miraculously saving his life nearly every day from horrors like walking down the street.
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[WP] You're Loki. You happen upon a superstitious village of dwarves. The first part of their doomsday prophecy: "A tall man with a staff will enter the village".
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[WP] Cats are officially classified as a solid and liquid by scientists. That is when the 11th Commandment is revealed upon every tome, “Thou who transcends matter shall take my place as the ruler of the heavens and Earth.”
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[WP] You save a herd of old people from a senior home, but they’re unusually ungrateful. You find out that they started the fire, to finally end their torment and cover up what the home owners were planning.
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[WP] The uranium we have been harvesting to make nuclear weaponry is actually coagulated blood. Blood that He has full control over.
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