/u/Outside_Normal's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

The welcoming committee assured our newest resident that we didn't pass judgment on our neighbors, be they hetero, homo, bi, pan, or asexual.

20 upvotes

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I was always warned to beware the silent ones.

20 upvotes

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Tossing my lucky business suit into the laundry basket, I missed again.

20 upvotes

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"Why do you call yourself a squatter when you live at home?" asked my friend.

19 upvotes

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So, instead of a whole pantheon, everything's done by a single god whose name is... God?

19 upvotes

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The high rate of alcoholism in my hometown was blamed on everything from the state of the economy to poor lifestyle choices to stereotypical small-town stupidity.

19 upvotes

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Having lost track of the conversation, I asked, "Wait, which eye doctor are you seeing?"

18 upvotes

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They say there's no such thing as a stupid question.

17 upvotes

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Suddenly, objects flew off the fireplace mantle crashing down to floor as though pushed by an unseen force.

16 upvotes

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My husband gave no explanation for why we had to leave our friends' house so abruptly.

15 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The welcoming committee assured our newest resident that we didn't pass judgment on our neighbors, be they hetero, homo, bi, pan, or asexual.	20
I was always warned to beware the silent ones.	20
Tossing my lucky business suit into the laundry basket, I missed again.	20
"Why do you call yourself a squatter when you live at home?" asked my friend.	19
So, instead of a whole pantheon, everything's done by a single god whose name is... God?	19
The high rate of alcoholism in my hometown was blamed on everything from the state of the economy to poor lifestyle choices to stereotypical small-town stupidity.	19
Having lost track of the conversation, I asked, "Wait, which eye doctor are you seeing?"	18
They say there's no such thing as a stupid question.	17
Suddenly, objects flew off the fireplace mantle crashing down to floor as though pushed by an unseen force.	16
My husband gave no explanation for why we had to leave our friends' house so abruptly.	15