/u/Outside_Normal's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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I was so awestruck and tongue-tied by the half-Native American/half-Italian beauty I cringingly greeted her with "How!"

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"What an ungrateful brat you are, even after I've been both mother and father to you."

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Upon finding the block of cheese, I stared questioningly at my daughter.

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They knocked me down when they misheard me saying I was a "podiphile".

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My Chinese horticulturalist friend reassured me that the garden was salvageable using his controversial methods.

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I deplore the censorship of words such as "t*ts", "b**bies", "p*ckers", and "h**ters".

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I the masseuse why she turned me into a frog.

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They had the audacity to insinuate that I, a learned scholar, did not know what the "f-word" was, when I most definitely do.

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I like to keep my jokes printed on perforated paper.

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I was surprised when I overheard my mother describe me as a prolific writer to her friends.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I was so awestruck and tongue-tied by the half-Native American/half-Italian beauty I cringingly greeted her with "How!"	2
"What an ungrateful brat you are, even after I've been both mother and father to you."	2
Upon finding the block of cheese, I stared questioningly at my daughter.	1
They knocked me down when they misheard me saying I was a "podiphile".	1
My Chinese horticulturalist friend reassured me that the garden was salvageable using his controversial methods.	1
I deplore the censorship of words such as "tts", "bbies", "pckers", and "h**ters".	1
I the masseuse why she turned me into a frog.	1
They had the audacity to insinuate that I, a learned scholar, did not know what the "f-word" was, when I most definitely do.	1
I like to keep my jokes printed on perforated paper.	1
I was surprised when I overheard my mother describe me as a prolific writer to her friends.	1