/u/Outside_Normal's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

Sitting at the bar, Finnigan O'Sullivan was telling everyone in the tavern the tale of how he wrestled a leprechaun last night and nearly made off with its pot of gold.

234 upvotes

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I begin the rite, as a good storywright, of boasting about the great things I write.

221 upvotes

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"You are NOT leaving this room until you find Jesus."

212 upvotes

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I'm going to attempt the trick of removing the tablecloth without disturbing the place settings perched on top of it.

209 upvotes

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All in all, massaging kittens wasn't the worst way to spend a day.

199 upvotes

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Despite having an affinity for it, I left my job as a chimney sweep.

198 upvotes

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[NOV2020] Black Friday is a prime example of how savage and uncivilized the human race can be.

191 upvotes

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Everyone who queued up was flexing their hands, cracking their knuckles, and laughing like this was some kind of joke.

190 upvotes

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I surrounded myself with Granny Smith, Red Prince and Golden Delicious, but it was no use.

186 upvotes

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"...then the CEO shook my hand saying, 'congratulations on your promotion, Paul' and walked away."

181 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Sitting at the bar, Finnigan O'Sullivan was telling everyone in the tavern the tale of how he wrestled a leprechaun last night and nearly made off with its pot of gold.	234
I begin the rite, as a good storywright, of boasting about the great things I write.	221
"You are NOT leaving this room until you find Jesus."	212
I'm going to attempt the trick of removing the tablecloth without disturbing the place settings perched on top of it.	209
All in all, massaging kittens wasn't the worst way to spend a day.	199
Despite having an affinity for it, I left my job as a chimney sweep.	198
[NOV2020] Black Friday is a prime example of how savage and uncivilized the human race can be.	191
Everyone who queued up was flexing their hands, cracking their knuckles, and laughing like this was some kind of joke.	190
I surrounded myself with Granny Smith, Red Prince and Golden Delicious, but it was no use.	186
"...then the CEO shook my hand saying, 'congratulations on your promotion, Paul' and walked away."	181