/u/PistachioPug's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

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[JUN21] Her funeral was held in the same church where she had been married six months earlier, and she lay in her coffin in the same dress in which she had stood at the altar.

7121 upvotes

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[NOV21] Somewhere deep in the primitive parts of our brains, we remember how to hibernate: find a snug den, curl up, and go to sleep.

4332 upvotes

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A cougar gave me head last night.

1252 upvotes

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"YOU'VE CALLED ME A FAILURE FOR THE LAST TIME," proclaimed the note taped dramatically to the mirror above the sink across from the bathtub where she lay half-immersed in pinkish water.

520 upvotes

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There is no fiction - everything you write, you'll actually have to live through in the afterlife.

183 upvotes

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Everyone knows the way out of a time loop is to live the best possible version of the day, but I was happy being immortal in a world without consequences.

151 upvotes

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[JUN21] The day we got married, "til death do us part" seemed like all the time in the world.

68 upvotes

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"I'm innocent, Father, I didn't kill her!" the condemned man blurted out when I arrived in his cell to administer the Last Rites.

60 upvotes

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[AUG21] I thought I was a good dog, so why are you punishing me?

43 upvotes

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Everyone agrees it's for the best that we can't with any certainty know the future, that the knowledge would devastate us.

42 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
[JUN21] Her funeral was held in the same church where she had been married six months earlier, and she lay in her coffin in the same dress in which she had stood at the altar.	7121
[NOV21] Somewhere deep in the primitive parts of our brains, we remember how to hibernate: find a snug den, curl up, and go to sleep.	4332
A cougar gave me head last night.	1252
"YOU'VE CALLED ME A FAILURE FOR THE LAST TIME," proclaimed the note taped dramatically to the mirror above the sink across from the bathtub where she lay half-immersed in pinkish water.	520
There is no fiction - everything you write, you'll actually have to live through in the afterlife.	183
Everyone knows the way out of a time loop is to live the best possible version of the day, but I was happy being immortal in a world without consequences.	151
[JUN21] The day we got married, "til death do us part" seemed like all the time in the world.	68
"I'm innocent, Father, I didn't kill her!" the condemned man blurted out when I arrived in his cell to administer the Last Rites.	60
[AUG21] I thought I was a good dog, so why are you punishing me?	43
Everyone agrees it's for the best that we can't with any certainty know the future, that the knowledge would devastate us.	42