/u/Psalmbodyoncetoldme's posts
[WP] “We are meeting an advanced, benevolent alien race today. Do not mention anything that’ll make us look bad: war, slavery, genocide (especially the genocide), and for the love of everything don’t give them access to our Internet. Now look alive, the human ambassador is coming.”
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[WP]Humanity meets aliens, who are overjoyed to meet another benevolent and peaceful race out in the cosmos. Humanity goes along and tries desperately to hide its sordid past from the aliens. The aliens are trying to do the same.
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[WP]In order to integrate humanity into the Galactic Community, The Federation has sent diplomats from species they deem most similar to Humanity. It is not what Humanity expects.
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[WP]Humanity has just discovered the Galactic Federation, a conglomeration of diverse sapient species. As is standard, the Federation sends a delegation of the most similar species to negotiate mankind’s induction into the galactic community. Their choice is… not what we expected.
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[WP] In the galaxy, a general rule of thumb is: the cuter the species, the greater capacity for violence it has.
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[WP] The Federation introduces newly discovered intelligent species to the galactic community by sending delegates from a species most psychologically similar to the new race. Usually the species are physically similar, like two canine or fish species. Humans got spiders. Giant. Alien. Spiders.
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[WP] Some time in the future, a broadcast is heard around the world. "Yes, time travel is possible. Yes, you are capable of doing it. It causes more problems than it solves and we're tired of fixing your shit so please stop inventing it. Thank you."
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