/u/RoboJoe9000's posts
[WP] The legends are true. There really is only one fruitcake that has been getting regifted for ages. You are the first to ever actually try and eat this legendary object.
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[WP] No one protested climate change harder than frosty. As a snow man it threatend his very existence. As temperatures rose a valiant effort to move him to the arctic was made and nobody has seen him since, until a bad winter storm hits and reports of snow men come in. Thousands of them attacking.
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[WP] Nobody ever seems quite ready for it. Your superpower is to give people intrusive thoughts. It's highly underrated.
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[WP] You fool, crabs aren't the peak of evolution, it's clearly trees. Sure a lot of things have evolved to look like crabs, but do you have any idea how many groups of species independently evolved into trees? One day we will all return to the earth. Join me in the ground! Coalesce into the soil!
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[WP] The initial zombie outbreak created a lot of panic, but when the world didn't burn things settled down. It really mostly only hit rural and ghetto areas hard in the beginning. Despite expert warnings that this would get worse over time as time passed people started to mostly ignore it.
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[WP] "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!!!" suddenly a bright flash is seen in the sky, followed by a loud crack, and a firey arch coming towards you. A meteor is headed straight for us. He who is without sin has cast the first stone!
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[WP] A large building near where you live was put into sudden quarantine and then abondoned years ago. Nobody really seems to know much about the building's history or what happens. As an urban explorer you decide to investigate. In the building you find a folder titled "Project Lazerus."
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[WP] The ability to summon whoopie cushions may not seem that powerful, but with the ability to summon air filled sacks that make noise upon applying pressure to any spot you desire you are powerful enough to take over the world!
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[WP] The lottery, the stock market, gambling, large sums of money/valuables stored in one place (bank vaults/etc), are largely elaborate honeypots set up to entice and capture people and other beings breaking the laws of physics, like time travelers, teleporters, telekentics, etc.
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