onionheadlines

Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Trump Predicts Tim Waltz Will Be The Worst VP Ever, And Bring About The Apocalypse. Because, Fuck You, That's Why.	263
A CLEARLY SHAKEN VANCE LEFT A NEWS CONFERENCE EARLY AFTER REPORTER POINTED OUT THAT LA-Z-BOY FURNITURE IS ACTUALLY MALE.	51
Project 2025 Saddened To Hear That Trump Is Trying To Distance Himself From Them, 'Did That Kiss At Summer Camp Mean Nothing To You?'	35
TOO OLD?: TRUMP STARES OUT OF TRUMP TOWER WINDOW, MUMBLES SOMETHING ABOUT HOW 'I USED TO PISS OUT THIS WINDOW, NOW I JUST PISS MY PANTS.'	22
Trump's Team Alarmed At His Insistence That He Will Do His Stand-Up Routine For The Talent Portion Of The Election.	18
The Recent Sense Of Panic In The GOP Finally Shows Signs Of Abetting As The Release Of Steve Bannon Draws Near, 'Steve Will Bring Back The Bat Shit Crazy That We Have Been Missing Lately' Say Leadership.	16
In Misguided Effort To Prove Trump Isn't The Sexually Depraved Rapist Some Declare Him To Be, Speaker Johnson Says That Trump Was A Perfect Gentleman On Their Last Social Outing, 'He Even Tucked Me Into Bed With A Little Pecker On My Cheeks'.	14
VP CANIDATE VANCE GOES ON LATE NIGHT TRUTH SOCIAL RANT DEFENDING THE GOAL OF CUTTING FUNDING TO PBS: 'DO YOU KNOW HOW UNBORN COUCHES ARE KILLED EVERY YEAR TO KEEP THOSE FUCKING MUPPETS ALIVE?'	14
GOP In Crisis Mode, Leadership Can't Seem To Agree If Tim Waltz Becoming VP Means The Midwest Becomes A Third World Country Or The End Of All Life As We Know It.	11
Trump Changes His Tune About EV's After Elon Convinces Him That EV Stands For Electric Vagina, Trump Is Now Eager To 'Fully Embrace This Brave New World.'	10

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