/u/SlowChurch's posts
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[WP] You're wanted "dead or alive" by the Fashion Police, but the Grammar Nazis are a bigger concern at the moment.
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[WP] You do well to fear Count Dracula, mortal. But it is actually Count Spatula who will put dread in your hearts!
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One day a probe crash landed on earth. It was an alien recording device from a long dead race. The device had been recording video of earth for ten thousand years in nearly infinite resolution and we could now answer a lot of questions.
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The Colossus of Rhodes rose up from the murky deep, put on a giant pair of sunglasses, turned to the camera, and said, "I'd have gotten up sooner, but I might be a little... rusty." Then, an angry Statue of Liberty stepped into frame and said, "looks like I didn't hit the Rhodes hard enough."
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[WP] One day someone dressed as a movie director stormed into your house and shouted, "Cut! Ok, let's take the last 30 years from the top. Action!"
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[WP] Aliens land and claim Earth as theirs. A second group of aliens land and claim they were here first. They take it all the way to the Supreme Court.
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You try a dating website after a contentious breakup with the same woman for the third time. You get matched with her. You then hear demonic voices whispering, "can't screw up this time, Screwtape, the dark one says they fall in love or else."
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