/u/SpookieSkelly's posts
[WP] You've just become a vampire. On the downside, finding fresh human blood is hard in the apocalypse. On the upside, being a vampire makes you immune to zombie bites.
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[WP] You've spent the past six months in a cell being tortured by your kidnappers everyday. The only person you have to company is the Angel of Death, who appears to you every night to chat. One night, they put a hand on your shoulder and say "Fuck destiny. I'm getting you out of here."
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[WP] A noble sentenced to die is allowed to choose their execution method. They ask to die in honourable combat against the king's knights, armed with a wooden sword while the knights have real weapons. It's been 24 hours since the execution started and the king is running out of knights.
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[WP] It is said that the cursed princess can only be awoken by true love's kiss. To wake her up, the king has had princes from all over the world come to kiss her to no avail. One day, a peasant boy walks up to the sleeping princess and splashes her with cold water to wake her up. It actually works.
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[WP] You're an astronaut sent on a solo deep space mission. To combat the loneliness, you've created an imaginary friend who you interact with every day. Upon finally returning, mission control stops you. An unidentified lifeform has been detected on your ship.
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[WP] You're an actor famous for playing a god on stage. That god is now at your front door asking if you could cover for them while they go on holiday.
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[WP] "The contract is sealed!" bellowed the demon. "Tell me your wish, and your soul will be forfeit to me when you die." Knowing that the demon is bound by magic to make the wish come true whether they like it or not, the human speaks while looking them in the eye. "I wish for you to become human."
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[WP] When the castle is stormed by enemy troops, the king escapes alone, leaving the princess behind to her fate. Later, as the king is resting at an inn, his royal jester walks in covered in blood and holding the princess in his arms. "Dick move, your majesty," he says. "Dick fucking move."
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[SP] "Soldier, how the hell did you manage to take 9,999 captives?" "No idea, sir. They all just surrendered after I killed the first guy."
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