/u/SpuriousPultroon's posts

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Only show posts with narrations

I like reading my victims' browser history, as it grants me insight into their final thoughts before death.

6774 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Just as I realized my toothpaste had been switched out, my son ran in and proclaimed "Apwil Fools dad, I pwanked you!"

4822 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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As I switched my weapon from SAFE to SEMI, I ran out from behind a Jeep and opened fire on the enemy.

1227 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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When I found the Death Note, I thought I knew just whose name to write...

246 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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I awoke today from a coma with no memory of what happened, but the doctors say I shot myself in the head.

174 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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He gripped at me with his crabby claws, and seethed through his mandibles "I will keep you alive for days just to suffer."

145 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Mainland China reports a <25% mortality rate for the Coronavirus.

128 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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My Army Morning

124 upvotes • r/army

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"Oh god, fuck me," I said as lightning and thunder continued to strike outside.

115 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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I thought coming home from the war would be a relief, but these liberal peaceniks have no goddamned respect.

105 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Title	Upvotes	Subreddit	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I like reading my victims' browser history, as it grants me insight into their final thoughts before death.	6774	TwoSentenceHorror
Just as I realized my toothpaste had been switched out, my son ran in and proclaimed "Apwil Fools dad, I pwanked you!"	4822	TwoSentenceHorror
As I switched my weapon from SAFE to SEMI, I ran out from behind a Jeep and opened fire on the enemy.	1227	TwoSentenceHorror
When I found the Death Note, I thought I knew just whose name to write...	246	TwoSentenceHorror
I awoke today from a coma with no memory of what happened, but the doctors say I shot myself in the head.	174	TwoSentenceHorror
He gripped at me with his crabby claws, and seethed through his mandibles "I will keep you alive for days just to suffer."	145	TwoSentenceHorror
Mainland China reports a <25% mortality rate for the Coronavirus.	128	TwoSentenceHorror
My Army Morning	124	army
"Oh god, fuck me," I said as lightning and thunder continued to strike outside.	115	TwoSentenceHorror
I thought coming home from the war would be a relief, but these liberal peaceniks have no goddamned respect.	105	TwoSentenceHorror