/u/TheOminousDarkness's posts

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Only show posts with narrations

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through their home, the family were sleeping but they weren't alone.

199 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Dear Diary, my mother says masturbating can cause blindness, but I think she's full of shit

187 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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How do you know if your best friend is gay?

180 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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You bring your dog in here twice a month for a trim, and a pedicure, and I've told you that you need to brush this dog daily, but I'm done wasting my breath...

176 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Masturbation feels so much better now that I've begun to sample various lotions.

172 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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If I've learned anything about the supernatural, it's that demonic entities can take control of everyday objects.

168 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Flames licked at my body as my flesh blistered and charred, and I coughed painfully as my lungs were scorched with every ragged smoky breath, yet I braved the inferno to save them all.

166 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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❄ I leapt from the car and ran for the house as the first thick flakes of the season began to fall from the sky. ❄

161 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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BREAKING NEWS- Tragedy to report this Christmas morning as we learn that untold millions of homes were rocked by explosions, leaving countless men, women and children dead or wounded.

153 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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MISSING DOG: Three legs, mangy flea-infested fur, no teeth, one ear bitten off, and broken tail.

152 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Title	Upvotes	Subreddit	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through their home, the family were sleeping but they weren't alone.	199	TwoSentenceHorror
Dear Diary, my mother says masturbating can cause blindness, but I think she's full of shit	187	TwoSentenceComedy
How do you know if your best friend is gay?	180	TwoSentenceComedy
You bring your dog in here twice a month for a trim, and a pedicure, and I've told you that you need to brush this dog daily, but I'm done wasting my breath...	176	TwoSentenceComedy
Masturbation feels so much better now that I've begun to sample various lotions.	172	TwoSentenceComedy
If I've learned anything about the supernatural, it's that demonic entities can take control of everyday objects.	168	TwoSentenceHorror
Flames licked at my body as my flesh blistered and charred, and I coughed painfully as my lungs were scorched with every ragged smoky breath, yet I braved the inferno to save them all.	166	TwoSentenceHorror
❄ I leapt from the car and ran for the house as the first thick flakes of the season began to fall from the sky. ❄	161	TwoSentenceHorror
BREAKING NEWS- Tragedy to report this Christmas morning as we learn that untold millions of homes were rocked by explosions, leaving countless men, women and children dead or wounded.	153	TwoSentenceHorror
MISSING DOG: Three legs, mangy flea-infested fur, no teeth, one ear bitten off, and broken tail.	152	TwoSentenceComedy