/u/TheTiredDystopian's posts
[WP] "You and I are going to be very good friends in about seven hundred years. So, I'm going to let slide the fact that you just kicked me in my most precious jewels, because I'm generous and, frankly, a little sentimental. Now, listen up.As you will learn relatively soon, I hate repeating myself."
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[WP] "Listen to me closely. You go out there, do what you have to do, and come right back to me. You don't get to die, okay? You don't have my permission. And you promised never to do anything without my permission again. You promised, and you're going to keep that promise, or so help me God."
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[WP] "Congratulations. You killed the guardian of the underworld, and you didn't stop to think what he was there to guard. There were horrors, before Man. And now? All those ancient, angry, *hungry* things that died before the birth of Earth are running amok. I thank you. Humanity probably won't."
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[WP] "Seventeen years ago, you made a deal with Me, friend, with Death Herself. I gave you seventeen years, seventeen happy years, to dote on the kids you had Me save. But enough is enough. I want you to make good on your end of the bargain, *now*, or I'll take back Mine."
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[WP] "It's all your fault, you know. Everything that ever went wrong in his life was because of you. Even if you can't accept that, he does. And he chooses to be around you anyway. My advice? Stop questioning good things, when they happen. Stop asking why he's here, and just be happy that he is."
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[WP] "Here's how this is gonna go, 'cause there's two ways it can. One, you play this smart, do as I say, and go back to that wife you seem to like so much, for some reason. Option two is, you don't do what I tell you, and you get a bullet between your eyes. Dealer's choice."
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[WP] Heaven doesn't take kindly to fallen angels. As a matter of fact, they are hunted down and eviscerated within literal milliseconds of their fall from grace. An injured one just showed up at the doorstep of a clinic, begging for help.
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[WP] "Look, I wish I could fight this. You know I don't like being bossed around. But this order came from so high up the food chain, I think you'd die before you ever learned who sent it. So, either you let this one go, or you work on your own time, because the Agency will not get involved."
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[WP] "Oh, no, you got it all wrong. Your brother isn't in Hell. Souls like his can't go downstairs, no matter what. He's somewhere far, far worse. Not because he deserved it — God *literally* knows he didn't. No, he's there because *I* took him there. And I did that because... well, I HATE YOU."
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