/u/Totally_Not_Thanos's posts
[WP] They called you a "Damsel in distress." But no more! After dozens of repeated kidnappings and hostage situations, you've taken enough meticulous notes of the villian's tech, strategies, psychology, ect. to track him down and put him down once and for all.
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[EU] Jedi having wives and children was actually extremely common both leading up to and during the clones wars. It was just covered up very well. You are the secret child of an unremarkable jedi and you've just discovered you aren't the only one.
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[WP] You've been informed of the date and time of your death. It's iron clad, there's no preventing it. Or at least that's what you thought. The day comes and passes, and while things seem... Different, you're very much alive.
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[EU] Imperial Stormtroopers are portrayed as sleek, efficient, soldiers. However, they're actually a bunch of whiney, hormonal, bantha-hearders barely old enough to step off their parents' moister farm. Needless to say there are plenty of stories about the troops the Empire doesn't want you to hear.
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[EU] Several notorious supernatural serial killers, including Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees are blasted into space and forgotten about. Centuries later, a team of space colonizers discover part of a hockey mask next to a crashed ship.
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[WP] The Power of Love™ is a registered trademark of the Mystic Arts Corporation. Recently, you illegally used said trademark to "save the world." This was a blatant theft of of intellectual property. You must return The Power of Love™ in 24 hrs or we will begin to persue legal action.
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[EU] While on a Hawaiian vacation, Ben Tennyson attempts to aid a weird little girl find her dog. She describes him as small, blue, and Koala looking.
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[WP] A near genocide of the human race has wiped out anyone over the age of 2, save yourself and a handful of others. The future of the humanity is in your hands is you have to literally raise it up right.
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[WP] A group of monkeys start watching and mimicking the moves of a local sorcerer. They use their new skills to fight each other and torment the townsfolk.
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