/u/TryHardKenichi's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

Madeline was exhausted and couldn’t wait to finish her last delivery so that she could go to sleep in her king-size bed.

5247 upvotes

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My wife told me she wanted a dildo molded from Magic Mike’s cock for her birthday.

4196 upvotes

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After a years-long battle with schizophrenia, my husband decided to give up and take his own life.

3835 upvotes

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The first thing David wished for when he freed me from my bronze prison was to be the wealthiest person on the planet.

3792 upvotes

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When my tenth wife began waking up with tiny scratches all over her back, I knew that our time together was coming to an end.

3743 upvotes

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I used to think it was cute when my daughter started talking in her sleep.

3727 upvotes

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I've always tried to go with my gut instinct, so when the pregnant woman in front of me ordered anchovies on her pizza, I decided to leave and get General Tso's Chicken.

3365 upvotes

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When the light hits his knife, you'd better run for your life because that's amore.

3356 upvotes

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"Mommy, why is daddy so scared of me?" my daughter asks, her face wrought with confusion.

3255 upvotes

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I’d been dating this woman for several months, and whenever I asked to go back to her apartment, she always said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not ready to have company over yet.”

3209 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Madeline was exhausted and couldn’t wait to finish her last delivery so that she could go to sleep in her king-size bed.	5247
My wife told me she wanted a dildo molded from Magic Mike’s cock for her birthday.	4196
After a years-long battle with schizophrenia, my husband decided to give up and take his own life.	3835
The first thing David wished for when he freed me from my bronze prison was to be the wealthiest person on the planet.	3792
When my tenth wife began waking up with tiny scratches all over her back, I knew that our time together was coming to an end.	3743
I used to think it was cute when my daughter started talking in her sleep.	3727
I've always tried to go with my gut instinct, so when the pregnant woman in front of me ordered anchovies on her pizza, I decided to leave and get General Tso's Chicken.	3365
When the light hits his knife, you'd better run for your life because that's amore.	3356
"Mommy, why is daddy so scared of me?" my daughter asks, her face wrought with confusion.	3255
I’d been dating this woman for several months, and whenever I asked to go back to her apartment, she always said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not ready to have company over yet.”	3209