/u/Varied_nerd's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

The itsy bitsy spider crawled up my water spout

4866 upvotes

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My son struggled to stay calm when his nose hurt and I told him to blow into the tissue I was holding.

2301 upvotes

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Laws on what constitutes moral indecency are becoming ever stricter, with legal ramifications for violations up to and including imprisonment.

1888 upvotes

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"Since 1950, through selective breeding we have genetically modified chickens to reach maturity 30% faster and have 80% larger breasts."

1645 upvotes

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"So you're telling me a patient came into the ER just for a hangnail problem?"

1269 upvotes

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I love eating grilled corn in the cob in the summertime, but I hate getting the hairs stuck in my teeth.

1076 upvotes

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After being abused as a child, he spent thousands of hours at the gym to make sure no one could hurt him ever again, sacrificing time with family, friends, and favorite foods to do so.

472 upvotes

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I cried tears of relief when after years of treatment my depression finally left me.

152 upvotes

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When I died, I wasn't too worried about learning that I would be punished according to whatever Deadly Sin I had most embodied as I had lived a pretty low key life.

58 upvotes

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I told my wife to relax and take the night off to have fun with our kids rather than stay overnight in the hospital with me.

31 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The itsy bitsy spider crawled up my water spout	4866
My son struggled to stay calm when his nose hurt and I told him to blow into the tissue I was holding.	2301
Laws on what constitutes moral indecency are becoming ever stricter, with legal ramifications for violations up to and including imprisonment.	1888
"Since 1950, through selective breeding we have genetically modified chickens to reach maturity 30% faster and have 80% larger breasts."	1645
"So you're telling me a patient came into the ER just for a hangnail problem?"	1269
I love eating grilled corn in the cob in the summertime, but I hate getting the hairs stuck in my teeth.	1076
After being abused as a child, he spent thousands of hours at the gym to make sure no one could hurt him ever again, sacrificing time with family, friends, and favorite foods to do so.	472
I cried tears of relief when after years of treatment my depression finally left me.	152
When I died, I wasn't too worried about learning that I would be punished according to whatever Deadly Sin I had most embodied as I had lived a pretty low key life.	58
I told my wife to relax and take the night off to have fun with our kids rather than stay overnight in the hospital with me.	31