/u/WinsomeJesse's posts
[WP] Thanks to a witch's curse, you're psychologically compelled to start horrifically awkward conversations at the most deeply inappropriate moments.
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[WP] Your life is a story - a story written by a single, all powerful author. That author ended your story in a car crash, but here you still are. It turns out you've been revived in fan fiction. That may explain some of the changes...
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[TT] When Death came for Ms. Winter, he didn't realize she'd be teaching a room full of kindergartners.
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[WP] Frustrated with certain political events, you throw a coin in a wishing well. "I wish for all the Earth to be a true democracy." And that is how the Global Socialist Ant Party came to rule the Earth.
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[TT] All attempts to colonize the New World failed, thanks to the natives' communal relationship with dragons. Now, two centuries later, Allied emissaries have come to the great Dragon Chieftains seeking aid in the midst of World War II.
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[WP] The advertisement simply read, "Wishes fulfilled. Fee is 10%." As you weren't asking for money, you didn't see the harm in trying...
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[WP] Stories are never final. Authors retain the ability to go back and re-write published works, even hugely popular ones. Re-write the opening scene of your favorite book as if the author has just had a very public meltdown and is ruining their greatest work out of spite.
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[WP] You passed the exam and finally received your CPA license. Only then did you realize you weren't a Certified Public Accountant. You're a Certified Pirate Accountant. And trying to talk your clients into doing anything other than bury their assets on a beach somewhere is your living nightmare.
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