/u/almighty_smiley's posts
[EU] You can't take this new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor seriously. He's short, even by goblin standards. Old enough to have helped found Hogwarts. He's got this weird speech impediment. And what the bloody hell kind of a name is Yoda, anyway?
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[WP] For vampires, blood doesn't actually nourish; it provides a high akin to heroin. The reason they're bloodthirsty monsters is because they're all chasing the dragon. You're learning this fact the hard way.
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[EU] “Yes, Lord Vader, we’ve found the Jedi artifact you’ve been searching for. But if you’ll indulge our curiosity, what exactly is this ‘Tesseract’ of yours?”
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[WP] You are the first person ever uploaded to a computer system. They were expecting your consciousness to survive; they weren’t expecting a God of Cyberspace.
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[WP] Nearing retirement as an Auror, Harry Potter is tasked with one last case; tracking down a terrifyingly powerful artifact that grants even Muggles the power to cast incredibly powerful magic. It’s called, as he’s heard it, an “Infinity Stone”.
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[WP] “STOP FUCKING RAINING!” you shouted in a moment of frustration. It hasn’t rained a single drop since then. Anywhere. It’s been a year.
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[WP] The villain returns to their lair, only to find the hero waiting for them. The hero...and the villain's spouse. And parents. And a few friends. "Please sit down," the hero says, "we should have had this talk long ago..."
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[WP] "I had waited and trained for this moment for as long as I remember. But when the moment finally came, I stayed my hand."
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[WP] Thanksgiving, 1976. A team of turkey hunters is down two men. Unbeknownst to them, this turkey was a mascot in Vietnam, and learned a thing or two from Charlie.
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