/u/awesomo_prime's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Officer Gutierrez asked Jim before patting him down, "Anything in your pockets that can poke, stick, or cut me or my partner?"

112 upvotes

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I was too drunk to drive, so I decided to sleep in my car.

105 upvotes

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My two-year old died today, trampled at a Black Friday event.

93 upvotes

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I dug deep and cried into my rescuer’s chest, until I heard him speak into his radio.

84 upvotes

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Shortly before Christmas, Santa came home and caught his women in bed with another man.

83 upvotes

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Fuck your two sentences!

80 upvotes

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The teen said he needed to be saved.

69 upvotes

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I hugged my crying student and told them even those that fail the final have a purpose in life.

65 upvotes

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Mystics foretold horrors of 2020 will end when the balls drops at New Years.

57 upvotes

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Growing up, I was often told, "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. . ."

54 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Officer Gutierrez asked Jim before patting him down, "Anything in your pockets that can poke, stick, or cut me or my partner?"	112
I was too drunk to drive, so I decided to sleep in my car.	105
My two-year old died today, trampled at a Black Friday event.	93
I dug deep and cried into my rescuer’s chest, until I heard him speak into his radio.	84
Shortly before Christmas, Santa came home and caught his women in bed with another man.	83
Fuck your two sentences!	80
The teen said he needed to be saved.	69
I hugged my crying student and told them even those that fail the final have a purpose in life.	65
Mystics foretold horrors of 2020 will end when the balls drops at New Years.	57
Growing up, I was often told, "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. . ."	54