/u/awesomo_prime's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

I hate it when lazy people don't rerack gym equipment.

24 upvotes

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As a young priest, I've heard many death bed confessions from the young, old, men, women, people of all backgrounds.

23 upvotes

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Lying next to my snoring girlfriend, I sometimes think about, if needed, how i'd murder her and dispose of the corpse.

23 upvotes

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We thought it'd be funny to ship grandpa home for Christmas.

22 upvotes

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Without his uniform to protect him, the unruly crowd didn't care the homeless man in front of them was a war hero.

21 upvotes

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Wife confronted me today, saying I'm not the man she married.

21 upvotes

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The last time I was homeless, I was forever grateful when a Christian family brought me in from the freezing cold.

20 upvotes

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We all know correlation doesn't imply causation.

20 upvotes

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Suzy, excited her grades came in the mail, brought her dad the brown package.

19 upvotes

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Tell me captain, why were you and your men fraternizing with the enemy?

19 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I hate it when lazy people don't rerack gym equipment.	24
As a young priest, I've heard many death bed confessions from the young, old, men, women, people of all backgrounds.	23
Lying next to my snoring girlfriend, I sometimes think about, if needed, how i'd murder her and dispose of the corpse.	23
We thought it'd be funny to ship grandpa home for Christmas.	22
Without his uniform to protect him, the unruly crowd didn't care the homeless man in front of them was a war hero.	21
Wife confronted me today, saying I'm not the man she married.	21
The last time I was homeless, I was forever grateful when a Christian family brought me in from the freezing cold.	20
We all know correlation doesn't imply causation.	20
Suzy, excited her grades came in the mail, brought her dad the brown package.	19
Tell me captain, why were you and your men fraternizing with the enemy?	19