/u/bacon-of-doom's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

We hope this message gets to you.

240 upvotes

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My girlfriend was telling me that she shouldn’t get in a hot tub because she is pregnant, ‘basically it will cook the baby.’

20 upvotes

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My eyes grew larger and the lies my parents told me ran through my head as the tub drained.

17 upvotes

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The teen mother read the headline “Human meat now legal.”

15 upvotes

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We always thought the baby was talking gibberish.

12 upvotes

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It’s too bad that Halloween is over.

9 upvotes

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My girlfriends daughter was petting my dog and said ‘I like her body parts.’

8 upvotes

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I love the sound of a vacuum sealer.

8 upvotes

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There are untold numbers of kids that had gone missing in the Monsters Inc universe while they were inventing the scream extractor

4 upvotes

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The radar screen of the submarine kept filling as the signal kept pinging back to the thick hulled submersible, decibels increasing as the object approached, captain screaming to surface, all ballasts releasing, the sudden ascent making it difficult to move.

2 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
We hope this message gets to you.	240
My girlfriend was telling me that she shouldn’t get in a hot tub because she is pregnant, ‘basically it will cook the baby.’	20
My eyes grew larger and the lies my parents told me ran through my head as the tub drained.	17
The teen mother read the headline “Human meat now legal.”	15
We always thought the baby was talking gibberish.	12
It’s too bad that Halloween is over.	9
My girlfriends daughter was petting my dog and said ‘I like her body parts.’	8
I love the sound of a vacuum sealer.	8
There are untold numbers of kids that had gone missing in the Monsters Inc universe while they were inventing the scream extractor	4
The radar screen of the submarine kept filling as the signal kept pinging back to the thick hulled submersible, decibels increasing as the object approached, captain screaming to surface, all ballasts releasing, the sudden ascent making it difficult to move.	2