/u/baltinerdist's posts
[WP] They've streamlined things up at the Pearly Gates. All newly arrived spirits are judged by a great infallible celestial computer that weighs their lives and indicates Heaven or Hell. That is, until you arrive and the screen reads: "Error."
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[WP] Ever since your coworker signed the Book of the Damned and became possessed by that demon, your department is actually hitting your quarterly KPIs out of the park.
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[WP] This planet's resources nearly depleted, scientists discover a way to transport the population of Earth into a parallel dimension where Earth is in a much better state. Problem is, this isn't the first parallel earth to try and make it to Earth II.
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[WP] "We hereby convene this general assembly of the organs of the United Nathan," said Secretary General Pancreas.
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[WP] "I'm a dog person," your Tinder date says. "Cool, I love dogs," you say. They shake their head and take off their beanie, revealing long floppy ears.
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[WP] When you've got a thin crust vs deep dish dispute, when you need to subpoena a pineapple preferer, when fold over or crust first forces you to bench, there's only one place to go. These are the stories of the Supreme Court.
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[WP] The weather-beaten sign, "Welcome to Bonneville, A Friendly Community" was the last thought to enter your mind as they killed you.
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[WP] Your stalker, obsessed with your blog, has kidnapped you and demands that you write and post for them. You put out a coded cry for help the only way you can: an absurdly long, personal anecdote at the beginning of a new recipe.
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[WP] You are a medical marvel - you've been suffering from the same case of hiccups for 20 years. And the hiccups have always come at a perfectly consistent interval. It's only recently that you've begun to notice that many other things in the world around you seem to sync up with your hiccups.
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