/u/baltinerdist's posts
[WP] Everyone pictures the evil empire as a bleak dystopia. You, however, live in the evil suburbs and aside from... a few things... life is pretty normal.
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[WP] With the hero tied up to the death trap, the villain starts their monologue. Just then, a henchman trips over a cord and triggers the trap, killing the hero. "Oh crap, this wasn't a part of the plan," says the alarmed villain.
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It's finally happened: you can now opt-out of religious and political ads! (He can't get us anymore.)
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[WP] Fire burn wood. Wood turn black. Black wood make mark on cave wall. Black wood draw happy tree and deer. This story of Thog Ross, first caveman have joy of cave drawing.
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[WP] You're that guy that always "knows a guy." Literally. No matter what someone is asking for, you automatically know the person that can help them.
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[WP] "Yeah, this house is haunted," the real estate agent chuckled. "But don't worry, Jerry died in 1981 and he's mostly just confused about technology."
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[WP] Due to your lame superpower, they call you Captain Obvious since you just point out what is already true. What they don't realize is that it wasn't true until you said it.
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[WP] The rules have been in my family for generations. Open your door when it knocks. Tell it the truth, no matter what. Ask it one question and accept the answer. In this way, our family has been kept safe.
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[WP] The further you get into the tour, the more you are convinced that your overly pleasant tour guide is trying to subtly tell you without telling you that the company they work for is really, really evil.
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