/u/birdslut69's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

Ever since I was a kid, I talked to the imaginary audience in my head.

8637 upvotes

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[JUN21] My beautiful bride choked up, too overwhelmed to continue her vows.

1513 upvotes

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"When my wife told me she'd killed a man in a hit-and-run years ago, I knew our marriage would never be the same.

910 upvotes

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[JUN21] "If you're nervous, take a deep whiff of these," I told my daughter as I pressed her bridal bouquet into her shaking hands.

271 upvotes

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My favorite actress always jokes that she won't do nude scenes as long as her parents are alive.

188 upvotes

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When I leave my arm hanging off the bed, I always feel something cold clutching my hand just as I'm falling asleep.

164 upvotes

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[MAY21] My mother bursts into tears as I ask, "Mother, may I see what's in the attic now?"

114 upvotes

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Women hire me to murder their babies, but I can't complete my latest job.

71 upvotes

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When my son asks me, "Mother, may I kill again?" I hold up a hand to stop him.

39 upvotes

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[MAY21] Reading over my son's shoulder, I watched him write, "-Mother, May I".

35 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Ever since I was a kid, I talked to the imaginary audience in my head.	8637
[JUN21] My beautiful bride choked up, too overwhelmed to continue her vows.	1513
"When my wife told me she'd killed a man in a hit-and-run years ago, I knew our marriage would never be the same.	910
[JUN21] "If you're nervous, take a deep whiff of these," I told my daughter as I pressed her bridal bouquet into her shaking hands.	271
My favorite actress always jokes that she won't do nude scenes as long as her parents are alive.	188
When I leave my arm hanging off the bed, I always feel something cold clutching my hand just as I'm falling asleep.	164
[MAY21] My mother bursts into tears as I ask, "Mother, may I see what's in the attic now?"	114
Women hire me to murder their babies, but I can't complete my latest job.	71
When my son asks me, "Mother, may I kill again?" I hold up a hand to stop him.	39
[MAY21] Reading over my son's shoulder, I watched him write, "-Mother, May I".	35