/u/doctorsirus's posts
[WP] You've eaten your Chinese takeout and open your fortune cookie. It says, "If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same." That gives you an idea: you'll kill two of them.
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[EU]Obi-wan Kenobi once praised Stormtroopers for being so accurate with their shots. Why can't they hit anything now? It is because you, a lowly grunt at BlasTech Industries, have been sabotaging their blaster shipments for months.
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[WP] Your neighbors were concerned when you moved into the local haunted house. You were worried at first too, but the messages written in blood on the mirrors are... oddly supportive.
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[WP] Your guts paid off and the valedictorian agreed to be your date for prom tonight. Four hours later, you're helping them clean a crime scene and dispose of the assassins sent to kill them. Your date, it turns out, moonlights as a cleaner for the mob.
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[WP] There is always a Reaper to replace the last, and now that you've died, that honor is yours. The Reaper is always stripped of their memories of life. Today you take another soul to what lies beyond, but this one knows you.
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[WP] "Hold on, I have to take this," your mom says as she takes the phone outside. Twenty minutes later, she comes back covered in blood. "Alright, now what were you saying, dear?"
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[WP] Some people are surprised you've adapted so well after the apocalypse. You're not. You caused it, after all.
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[WP]As you boot up your missing friend's last game, you see an... unusual button prompt. 'Welcome, human. You are not playing this game, I am. Press "X" to not die.'
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