/u/dont-mention-it's posts
[WP] You had a lucid dream last night where you flew around causing mass destruction, committing crimes against humanity all the while. You woke up in the morning to find the army surrounding your house.
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[WP] We were told by NASA that an asteroid was heading towards Earth and would strike us in a few weeks. That’s when an army of demons rose up and offered to help us because “the apocalypse wasn’t set to happen for until much later”.
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[WP] A televangelist shows up at the pearly gates, and as soon as the angel stationed there sees him they say “oh, hold on a minute, God wants to talk to you personally!”
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[WP] At the end of everyone’s life, they are put into the universal TV Tropes and are given tropes that match with their character. Some time after your death, you decide to check your family’s pages for a laugh, and notice that your father is labeled as the big bad.
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[SP] Hell is just a bunch of therapy sessions with demons until you’re certifiably a good enough person to ascend.
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[WP] As he prepared to finish his enemy, their ally stopped them and said “ if you kill them, you’ll be just like them”. He responded by striking their enemy dead and saying “ that’s what I was hoping for.”
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[EU] Tired of constantly having their work taken from them, a group of drunken construction workers get into a fight with this “Bob the Builder” shmuck.
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[WP] “Before you can enter Heaven, you must live through the lives of those you have killed.” “What? But I didn’t kill anyone!” “What made you think I was only referring to humans?”
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[WP] “So, I was coming down to bring the rapture, but then I saw that you guys were trying to make the Rapture happen. Seeing as trying to bring the apocalypse intentionally is kinda messed up, I’ve decided to just not do the Rapture.”
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